Love Does: Relationship, Not Agenda

“When people realize there’s no agenda other than friendship and a better understanding, things begin to change.”

                             Bob Goff, Love Does

            I’m slowly making my way through this incredible book because God keeps rockin’ my world with every chapter.

            Do you plan your conversations? Do you have conversations in your head before you have them in reality? I sometimes do. Sometimes, I even forget that part of it was in my head, so I don’t understand when it doesn’t make sense to the other person! Often there is a difference in my agenda and the way the conversations happen. What I’ve been experiencing lately is the awesome beauty and fruits of conversations that are WAY more about the relationships than they are about agenda.

            The last several months have been ABUNDANT with connecting with people. Some of you will say, “Well, what else is new?” Yes, I’m blessed with the gift of connecting with, maintaining, and strengthening relationships. This season, however, is moreso about new relationships.

In all of these connections I am making, there is a sharing of a very similar story. With each connection, there is also a hopeful outcome. If those relationships are only about getting what I want, they’re not authentic relationships.  Not only are they not authentic, man would I be missing out and limiting myself! Alison is not about limiting herself!

Each conversation has brought me such hope, such confirmation, and blessing beyond what I could ask or imagine. The glory is looking into someone’s eyes who is telling me she can make part of my dream come true, hearing someone’s vision that matches mine, and making a lifelong friend out of a volunteer airport pickup (gone slightly awry due to running out of gasJ) It’s the graciousness of someone spread so thin knowing exactly what I need and when I need it. On the other side of the table, it’s going into a conversation thinking the person needs one thing and learning they need something else altogether. Sometimes, it’s dropping my To Do list in order to be there for someone else. It’s an honor to be a part of every bit of that. I feel like the most blessed girl on the planet.

As the Auction Manager for the 2015 Sherwin-Williams Countrified Rock for Research, one of my favorite parts of my job is talking to donors and prospective donors.  It is such a gift to hear their stories. It can’t just be about getting an item. I may or may not leave with a donation, but I leave with a connection. So many people have some connection to Parkinson’s. That is the powerful part.  If we get too caught up in the agenda of donations, we miss that!

Sometimes an agenda is important. You need an agenda for business meetings, interviews, even facilitating small group discussions. The most powerful small groups I’ve been a part have been facilitated by leaders who have incredible skill for guiding the discussion, but also letting it go where the needs are. I’ve been moved to tears during some of my Simply Lose It discussions. We start out talking about the triumphs and struggles of weight loss, and the conversation gets taken to a whole new level, a place I know even Danny Cahill didn’t plan. It’s authentic. It’s relationship.